Warning: Do not google staph infection.

I should know better. 

I mean … I do know better from the times I’ve webMD’ed my symptoms of a localized headache and lower back pain. Dumb.

But, I did it anyway. Of course, I was horrified by the gruesome pictures.

Why did I google staph infection, you ask?

Well, I have one.

It started out as your simple, run-of-the-mill, poison ivy rash. I typically have a bout of allergic reactions every season. And, last Friday (which was a very busy day for me with K Belle’s birthday party) I noticed I had a poison ivy rash. Again, ugh! Annoying.

I slapped some cortisone cream on it like I always do and was ready to let it run its course.

But, it didn’t. In fact, it was getting worse and starting to not look like a poison ivy rash, but something different. I figured I’d give it a week or so, continuing to slather on cortisone cream. Dumb. Since that’s not what it needed.

Anyways … long story short … I texted my mom, who is an amazing nurse, a little pic of my rash, which was located on my knee and had started to spread in spots along my leg. She immediately texted back that it looked like staph and I should go to the walk-in clinic to get started on antibiotics. I was super impressed by her medical diagnosis over the phone. She was spot on. But, then she said, “You don’t know what kind of staph it is. Get it checked. I’d hate it to be the flesh-eating kind.” Great. Awesome. :/

So, I skipped lunch and headed to the clinic.

I was seen by a singing, slick-backed hair, gum-chomping, Middle-Eastern doctor who literally asked me what God I served. WHAT?!?! At least, I think that’s what he said since I could barely understand him AT ALL. 

Dude, I just need some antibiotics, not a religious confrontation. It was the weirdest doctor experience I’d ever had. What kind of doctor sings opera-ish music and chomps gum while seeing patients? Strange. 

In the end, he sent a culture off to be tested for which staph I had and gave me prescriptions. FINALLY … antibiotics! That’s all I wanted, Doc. Don’t worry, I answered his question with: THE ONLY GOD. He muttered some other things to which I gave a moan and said, “Here we go …” He chuckled. Conversation over. We didn’t agree. 

We also didn’t agree on no hot showers. Great … Nothing like a dirty patient.

But, we did agree on his suggestion of spending the next day lying around in sweatpants.

So … that’s what I’m doing today. And, praying for super quick healing so that I don’t have to go back to see this doctor later today like he said I needed to do if it doesn’t look better. Ugh. Please and thank you, God!