Yes. It’s been only two weeks since our world drastically changed. It feels more like it stopped to me. It feels like these last two weeks have been an eternity.
The weekend before that, everything was normal. I recall a specific drive to work where I was thanking God for how blessed I felt and how great everything was working out in our lives. So many wonderful things on the horizon for each of us as a family … selling our home and moving, K Belle’s graduation and getting ready for a move to Australia, La Petite Belle playing her first soccer game with a new team, La Petite Belle going to high school, Beau getting some extra work, and a new position at work for myself. Some really fantastic things coming up!
While these things are still coming up and still fantastic, in that moment of news about my baby girl, I didn’t care about any of them. Not one thing, actually.
All I cared about was my baby girl’s healing. And, how this was going to get accomplished.
One evening while we were in the hospital, after the doctor had told us the possibilities, La Petite Belle said, through tears: “I just wanted God to heal me instantly.” (I had told her that sometimes God heals instantly and sometimes he uses doctors and medicine.) This was a walk we did not want to have to take. But, here we are. I know God will walk us through it. We’re holding on to the hope He can only give us.
There have been a couple of good days or should I say moments, where we’ve been able to forget about the circumstance and laugh. Moments also where we’ve been able to enjoy the company of others. Moments where we’ve been able to enjoy each other’s company.
And, then …
we have to stop and do things like flush a PICC line.
My nurse-mom has come by each night to flush her line, while we watched. Last night was the first night I actually donned the surgical gloves and did it myself. It’s not just flushing, it’s also adding the Heparin, which helps it not to clot in the line.
La Petite Belle was nervous for me to do it probably because I’ve been so nervous to do it myself. So scared I could mess something up. I mean … this is pretty important stuff here. I’m still amazed that the medical professionals trust me with this.
My mom watched as I stated each step before I did it, still with questions. There’s two lines to flush. This isn’t a quick process especially when you’re as nervous as I am.
I may have made my nurse-mom proud last night. She’ll come again tonight until she says I’m totally confident. It may take a few more times. Glad to have a mom who teaches nurses for a living to do stuff like this. Score!
Today we go back to the doctor … PICC line check and new dressing, check levels, and possibly platelets.
And, we wait yet longer for Texas Children’s Hospital to just call us. They’ve had our information since Wednesday so I’d say that’s plenty of time to get the ball rolling with just scheduling our testing. Maybe I need to drive over there and push that paperwork through. Do I need to type it in myself? I simply don’t understand why this kinda stuff takes so long. I know … there’s lots of people. Yeah, yeah, yeah … since Wednesday guys and gals … Wednesday.
More to come …
My heart hurts for you and yours. I am so sorry you are going through this and that poor Petite Belle must endure it.
Praying for the peace that only comes from God, Complete Healing, Wisdom for the doctors and staff.
Hugs to each of you.