A hodge-podge of moments, involving K Belle (20 hours of labor) and La Petite Belle (22 hours … and they say the second one’s easier … they lie.):
K Belle-
Beau and I headed out to an Italian restaurant to eat. I had no idea I was in labor. Eating lasagna rolls was one of the worst decisions EVER. One of the most horrifying scenes of my life … contractions, body shaking (due to shock), and vomiting all at the same time. Not pretty. To this day, I am not a huge pasta fan.
Beau, after hours of labor and me asking for some pain medication: “Remember what we said? … that we would wait 15 minutes after you asked, to let the endorphins kick in?” Me: (stink eye)
Beau, after I’d finally got that epidural, which numbed only one side of my body: “You do realize you just peed on the nurse?” Me: “Like I care right now.”
La Petite Belle-
Nurse, at 4:00 a.m., after about eight hours of pitocin and cervidil, which induces labor and contractions: “Oh, honey … you’re not even at half a centimeter.” Me: Incessant crying.
Doctor comes in at noon after all the inducing and says there are two choices: a C-section or go home (already over 2 weeks late). Beau: “What’s the cost difference?” Me: Incessant crying and stink eye to Beau again. (I went home, by the way, for another week as a beached whale.)
Original due date: Sept. 16th; Birthdate: October 6th … how’s that for miscalculation?
Me, after failed epidural: “Is there anything else you can give me for pain?” Nurse: “If we give you anything else, you will die.” (I’m quite drug-tolerant.)
In 22 hours of labor, a six-hour epidural is a joke.
Me, after almost two hours of pushing and the whole baby’s-head-not-turning issue (for the second time … same with K Belle), I went a little bi-polar: “I can’t push anymore. I can’t push anymore. (tears) … I have to push. I have to push.”
Doctor comes in after that almost two hours: “Let’s get that baby out of you.” Within 10 minutes, La Petite Belle was born. TEN MINUTES … you’d think he could have come in sooner.
After La Petite Belle is delivered and the doctor hears her cry (the loudest cry anyone’s ever heard), he says: “You sure you don’t want me to put her back?”
And, I’d do it all again.
(OK. It’s officially time to get to scanning. This is the youngest picture I have of them on the computer. I only have a combined total of about 10 years to scan. Should only take … um … forever.)
I'm so glad I'm a guy! This is a funny post but the funniest part is Richard: "What's the cost difference?" That made me laugh out loud!
Ok so it took me the whole post to get why you were posting "labor" stories — Labor Day. Duh. I'm a quick one 🙂
And by the way, thanks for the reminder of all the pain and suffering I'm about to go through 🙂 Actually, the epidural worked quite well for me with Lily so let's hope it's the same this time around!
This was funny.
Also made me thankful for adoption. OUCH! 🙂
Too funny. A true labor of love
This post was hilarious!! I thought the cost difference part was so funny! I guess it's a guy thing…
This post was hilarious!! I thought the cost difference part was so funny! I guess it's a guy thing…
Ooh, this made me hurt a little! 🙂
Such an adorable photo!