I am so consumed with myself … MY thoughts, MY emotions, things that happen to ME.
When really, it’s not about me.
Nothing is about me.
I am such a small piece in this giant puzzle called “God’s plan for the world.” I am a tiny part to His master plan.
So, when life happens to me, I just need to deal with it. Get over it. Take a look at the big picture. Trust in God’s Word.
Stop looking at every circumstance, even though it affects me, being about me. Make sense?
So what? You’re self-esteem got crushed. Your feelings got hurt. Oh, well. Know who you are in Christ, girl! Don’t let anything else but that define who you are.
And, when you know that … I mean, really KNOW that … you won’t care. Stop caring. Know that God is in control, even over the small stuff.
I want to not care. I try to not care … really I do. But, don’t tell me how to feel or try to make light of my feelings and say they’re silly. I can’t help the way I feel. The question is: What will I do with those feelings, whether they’re valid or not?
Will I trust in God? Will I run to God, like David did? Will I run away from God and stuff those feelings? Will I let those feelings control the choices I make? 
As you can see, I’m searching for some answers here … confirmations.
I need a definite Word from the Lord that I can stand on. I always think that God won’t answer me or give me a good, solid “yes” or “no” because I’m so ugly inside. My heart and my mind are in a constant battle. If hearing from God depends on me, I’m in serious trouble.
Then, I read where, after finally becoming king of Israel, David takes on more wives. MORE WIVES. He’s in blatant sin … living in sin, yet he has the favor of God in every battle. God is with him. God is flat-out speaking to him and giving him direction. And David’s in sin.
So, here I am, Lord, asking for direction, ugly heart and all. Asking for favor, ugly heart and all. Asking for wisdom, ugly heart and all.
Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.
And, help me to remember … It’s not about me, it’s about You. Help me to hear Your voice and know what piece of the puzzle I’m supposed to be.