I don’t think being competitive is a bad thing. Winning is pretty awesome. It’s better than losing so why wouldn’t you want to strive for it.
I do teach my children to simply do their best in everything because that’s all God and their daddy & I expect. That’s it … Your Best! (And, Mama knows when it’s not your best.)
K Belle is definitely more laid back, not very competitive at all. La Petite Belle, on the other hand, is VERY competitive. Not sure if that’s due to her always playing sports or not, but she likes to win. And, on the opposite end … doesn’t like to lose EVER.
(at practice last week … in her volleyball uniform after a game … this child does TOO much)
So imagine her dismay when her new soccer coach said these words: “It’s not about winning. It’s just about going out there and having fun.”
Huh? Her contorted facial expression pretty much said it all.
This concept of not trying to win is totally foreign to her. I did some explaining and we giggled about how her last coach would say: “It’s not about having fun. You girls need to go out there and win.”
What a difference.
La Petite Belle was put on this team where only three other girls had ever played soccer before. Everyone else on the team was new to the sport. So in Saturday’s game, which they lost, La Petite Belle pretty much told the girls where they needed to be on the field and how to play.
She was becoming irritated by the fourth quarter.
She played awesome, but it was not enough. Her teammates are still in the learning phase.
Again, she showed no expression as the coach talked to the team at the end, praising them for how well they played, especially those who had never played before. She didn’t even do the huddle yell.
We headed home and she expressed her lack of enthusiasm for this coach because he’s not hard enough on them and doesn’t care about winning. This is going to take some adjustment.
I’m pretty sure this year’s going to be about learning how to be a good sport and how to not get upset with her teammates. (probably going to have to try a different league next year)
Look at this cutie in her early soccer years:
Our kids have all made a pact with each other that they will marry spouses that like to PLAY…in other words "play to WIN". We have a saying in our house "you better come ready because someone WILL lose and there just might be blood" ha!! we are just a "little" competitive here…la petite belle would fit in nicely!!!
This is really interesting! We have a completely different approach in our family. We are always trying to diffuse competitiveness, and explain to the children that the top is a pretty lonely place if you're there all on your own!
Our constant refrain is that our family is a TEAM, and we use TEAMWORK to sort out our problems. I've always tried to hammer home the point that the team is as strong as the weakest link, but there's glory in supporting and helping the weakest links, thereby making the whole team stronger.
I think, rather than being a frustration, it could be a really positive experience for La Petite Belle if she sets her mind to sharing her knowledge and licking the rest of the squad into shape!
If that doesn't work, maybe she should think about individual sports? How's her tennis? 🙂