Let me take you back in time … to Saturday morning at 7:00 a.m.
The alarm rings. I do not want to get up. (You see I had registered to run on a team for the Susan B. Komen 5K Race.)
I drag myself out of the bed. My stomach is aching and I’m tired from staying up until 1:00 a.m. the night before watching a movie with Beau (who’s still sleeping like a baby, by the way). (I mean, I was seriously hurtin’, ya’ll.) I sit on the bathroom floor holding my stomach.
My thoughts are this: “You’ve already paid your money to the association to support breast cancer research. No one is going to care if you show up for the race or not. Parking is going to be an extreme problem when you get there anyway. Your stomach is hurting. Your throat is hurting and you have to sing tonight. You’d better get back in that bed, missy, and go back to sleep.”
Then this thought: “Get your fat, lazy butt up. Get dressed and get to that race. You will regret it if you don’t.”
My actions followed the latter thoughts. I sluggishly put on my running shorts and my over-sized team t-shirt, that I’m putting on for the first time and realizing it is almost as long as my shorts. Nice.
I get my trusty running shoes on and put my hair in a lovely ponytail and as little make-up required to make me non-scary to others. I head out the door, leaving my sleepy little family behind.
As I’m driving downtown, my phone rings. It’s my friend, Carlie, who recruited me onto this team. She says that the entire team has decided not to run or walk the 5K, but is going to do the 1K. Great. I’ve been busting my butt for the last couple of weeks just to not die running this race and now I’ll be running it alone. She asks if I want to just do the 1K with them. Absolutely not. I’m about to turn around and go back home or just head over to my 5K running small group that meets on Saturday morning that I’m missing for this. I tell her that I will head downtown and if I can’t find a parking place right away, I’m not going to stay.
When I get downtown, I immediately find a parking space. Confirmation. Stay & run this race by yourself.
So, I did.
I went to the front of the line with all the “serious runners.” I’m standing right next to some women who are extremely proud of their bodies (granted, their bodies looked good, but come on, leave something to the imagination) … tiny shorts, even tinier sports bras (with over-sized boobs that I feared would hurt them during the race), belly rings, fake tans, perfect hair & make-up, and back tattoos. And here I am in my over-sized t-shirt and shorts. Joy.
The race begins. 

I start my iPod and run. I run too fast. People are crowding me. I’m passing some people up and a lot of people are passing me. I’m just trying not to trip over someone at first.

Then, the crowd starts to thin out. I have enough room. I run. I think I’m still running too fast and I’m telling myself to slow down.
I grab some water and feel like I’m a real runner. I drink it, spilling it all over me and throw the cup down on the ground, like a real runner would do.
I feel like everyone is passing me up and I’m not passing anyone up anymore.
And, I mean EVERYONE … moms with strollers, grandpas, and the kicker … some kids, about 6 or 7 years old. I seriously wanted to put my foot out and trip them. Seriously.
OK, just keep your focus. Just make it to the end.
“Sweet Child ‘O Mine” comes on. I get a little burst of energy because I can see I’m getting closer to the end. I run faster. I get to the finish line. I hit a dead stop. Total bottleneck.
Here’s the part where I find out that I’m not as competitive as I thought. I stand there in line. Everyone stands there in line, waiting for their tags to be pulled to clock their time. Here’s the problem: I’ve already been waiting about 5 minutes. How am I going to have an accurate running time? The announcer says, “If you’re not a competitive person, and don’t care about your time, just step out of line.” I step out. I clocked my own time, thank you very much … 30 minutes, 30 seconds … my fastest running time ever.
I have another interesting observation I’ll share with you tomorrow because this post is way too long.