Homesick

It’s a gloomy, rainy day in Houston as I write this.

Today, I am extremely homesick … like crying homesick, tummy-ache homesick.

(Actually this is being written on Sunday, so I may be ok today. Maybe.)

Don’t get me wrong. Houston is an amazing city and will always hold a special place in our heart. It’s the place where my daughter got her new cells and some amazing health care. It’s the place where God has met us in so many special ways in really dark, lonely times. Houston’s been good to us.

But, today, my heart aches. Today feels lonely yet again.

I thought that having Beau here more would ease that feeling of loneliness and it definitely has allowed us to lean on each other. But, yet, here I am today … homesick. What the what?! Why now? Where is this even coming from and how can I fix it?

Answer is it can’t be fixed because Houston is not home. Even thought I’ve said before it feels like home sometimes, it will never be where all our loved ones are and where our family is living under one roof, even if only for a couple of months.

Tonight, I will cross out the number 45 on our calendar and realize how many more days are to come. It’s 55. Yes … 55 more days until 100 days. Good days. Better days. But, days where we’re so disconnected and separated from home. Hard to believe I’ve been here since July 23rd and it’s October this week.

You never realize how much you love home until you aren’t there. You never realize how important some of the relationships you had at home were. You never realize how peaceful home is and how good it is to just be home. I hope you never have to experience something like this or take being home for granted. Soak in it, people!

The most important thing about home is relationships. It’s not an actual house or city. It’s people. It’s loved ones, friends and family. That’s what home actually is.

Cherish it. 

I know you’ve heard that before and it sounds so cliche’, but truly cherish home and the relationships you have wherever your home is.

The days here are very long as we wait for the next day to come so that we can just be one day close to being home again. My girl wants to be home even more than we do. She cries about it. She’s so “done with this” and “ready to go home.” If only Lafayette could have this type of hospital and care, how different our situation would look. To have the support of your friends and family in physical form on a regular basis would be incredible. It would still be hard, but loved ones that are near make such a HUGE difference.

Unfortunately, that is not our case. We have to be this far away because it’s the best thing for our child. 

So, we try to stay strong. But, we all know how that goes. It doesn’t work so we rely on God and His strength. How people get through tough times without Him is beyond me!

La Petite Belle got a precious care package from a class at a local (Lafayette-local) Christian school. It was filled with goodies and sweet, precious cards that the children wrote to her. She truly took her time, read through each card, treasuring the words that were written. 

It was such a gesture of kindness and compassion. We didn’t even know how this class knew La Petite Belle. It took us a while to figure it out. Knowing these children didn’t even know my girl and were consistently lifting her up in prayer did my heart well. And probably helped in my overwhelming feeling of homesickness.