I don’t know why your poisonous leaf is so attracted to me. I am flattered … really. But, I think it is time that you find someone else. You are becoming a bit of a stalker(no pun intended). The effect you have on me is overwhelming. Your very presence and touch causes me great discomfort. So, for the last time, go away or at least announce yourself when you are near so that I may take the proper precautions.

Seriously, I’m fighting poison ivy for the second time this summer. I’m itchy and feel like it’s all over my body. I think I may even have it on my face.
 
Anyone know a sure-fire cure for this reoccurring irritation?