I posted a statement on Facebook yesterday which apparently ruffled maybe a feather or two. I don’t see how, but I’ll go ahead and explain myself.
This was my statement:
‘I am amazed at the compassion & love shown by people these days, but more amazed by the lack of it shown by some “friends”.’
Ok, so maybe after reading it again, I can see where some people may misinterpret its meaning.
You know how you could have a million people say, “you’re pretty,” but have one person say, “you got hit with the ugly stick” … you only remember the ugly stick comment, but forget about all the pretty comments. This statement was said out of something like that.
The statement literally popped in my head and woke me up in the middle of the night.
It had NOTHING to do with what people are “doing” or “not doing.” It had nothing to do with “doing” at all.
People are FANTASTIC! They are AMAZING!
I am overwhelmed daily by the generosity, love, and support of people. Really, I am. So, please don’t misunderstand me. My family and I are extremely grateful. We have seen Jesus through so many people. And, people may not even realize how God used them at just the right time.
So … again, I hope you see my heart and know I’m grateful.
I didn’t take the statement down or delete it, because right now, I’m all about being transparent. I’m not going to post only about how things are hunky-dory and fabulous as we go through this, because they’re not. That would make me a phony. I want people to see me … a real Christ-follower who loves Jesus with all her heart, and is just trying to live out her faith as much as she can, as hard as it is, while being a regular mom/wife/woman (and friend herself) going through the hardest thing she’s ever been faced with.
That’s the only way you can help others going through their own difficulties. Nobody wants to hear from somebody who has it all together. None of us do have it all together, but gosh, some people sure do look like it, don’t they? How can we learn from each other if we’re not allowed to show the deeper places in our hearts when we go through trials? I learn from reading about how other people got through hard circumstances. I LOVE to know that they had real feelings. It helps me to know I’m normal and not crazy or the worst person in the world for having the feelings I do.
So, back to the statement …
The word I am focusing on here is “compassion”.
When situations arise in your life, a lot of times, people, even friends, don’t know how to respond or what to do. I get that.
But, it’s important to realize during times like this, you WILL be disappointed by the lack of response or sensitivity of people you thought were your friends. Be prepared for that. I wasn’t.
I realize that this situation with our family will and already has changed some of our friendships. It’s ok. But, at the same time … disheartening. That’s probably been one of the hardest things to understand and deal with during this time.
The good thing is God gives us grace each day.
He gives us grace to get through each moment.
And, He gives us new friendships to replace those we may lose.
I heard someone say this a long time ago and it stuck …
This is so true, and I have never seen it more evident in my life before now.
I just have to learn to be ok with it because I am one of those life-timer friends. I go into every friendship like that and I expect everyone else to be like me, but that’s not how life works. People are different.
So, I may be guarding my heart a little bit more now. Kinda stinks because I got over all that guarded-heart business so many years ago, and put myself out there full-force for new friendships. I have some GREAT ones because of it. But, I know me. I’ll be a little more withdrawn and a little more suspicious. I don’t like that.
I was mentioning to a few friends just the other day that I didn’t want this whole isolation thing to change me. I know you won’t believe this, but I’m secretly an introvert. So, when I get into introvert habits, it makes me MORE introverted. I’m an introvert who PUSHES herself to be an extravert, because that’s what Jesus calls us to be. It’s hard at times, but has become easier because I have put myself out there for so long. So, it makes me question what’s going to happen to my “wonderful” personality when I’m forced to be an introvert for so long. Yeah … don’t laugh. It’s a fear. One of those friends did laugh and said, “That’ll NEVER happen.” I hope not.
Hard stuff like this changes you. It also changes your relationships within your family and your relationships outside your family. Some are changes for the better. Actually, ALL are changes for the better, even if some relationships fall by the wayside.
I continue to pray that God will not only “get us” through this but that we will “thrive” through this.
As you’re reading this post today, we will be traveling to Houston for those preliminary appointments for La Petite Belle. She is anxious. She wants to stay in Houston and just get moving on the transplant. I feel the same way. We will return home on Monday and be here close to a week before returning again for her 3rd bone marrow biopsy. That’s all the latest news as of now.
Thanks again for your prayers and support.
I pray you always see my heart in my posts and that you get some insight for your own battles and circumstances. My prayer will always be “God, use me” even in a time like this.
If you would like to financially support Katie’s (aka La Petite Belle) journey to healing, you can find more information here: www.gofundme.com/Katieg. All money goes toward medical bills and expenses.
Hi Daphne, I can't remember that last time I commented on your blog. I don't blog any more myself. I just continue lurking.
Today however your post resonated with me on many levels. The truth in which you are speaking tells the same story in my heart.
My family went through a trial that lasted for us 4 years, we still have residual aftershocks. And you are right to say: amazed by the lack of compassion shown by some. Because, I, like you, go into friendships as a "lifer". I am also an introvert, The whole fear of becoming more introverted when being an introvert! (Girl raising hand emoji)
When I make a connection I just blindly assume it's the same for the other person. So when, say, poop hits the fan and you look around and so & so isn't there?? Yeah, it's a kick in the stomach for sure! The only thing I can say, is when it happens TO YOU, we get over it, move on, we grow stronger from it. But the ones who get feathers ruffled or "offended" are actually being pierced by the Spirit for their lack of compassion. That is what I believe. Hey, don't kill the messenger.
I also wanted to say, even though I mostly lurk, I am praying for you and your family.