The Mom of that Dead Girl

The Mom of that Dead Girl

(window art outside of Katie’s last PICU hospital room) I don’t know how to be anything else lately than the grieving mom. I used to be the mom of that sick girl. Before that, I was just “mom.” This has been my most defining role. We’re...
God doesn’t apologize.

God doesn’t apologize.

In the past months, as grief has been kicking my butt (you wouldn’t know it by looking at me, I know), I came to understand something about me. Something that isn’t a bad thing. Something that you probably have in you too. It’s the need for an...
Being Okay With Not Being Okay

Being Okay With Not Being Okay

It’s been months since I’ve written anything. I’ve been preoccupied with getting our book finished and honestly haven’t had much to say. That’s not to say that my mind hasn’t been full of thoughts because it seems to be overloaded...
Foundations

Foundations

This is the view outside our front window. It looks like nothing, right? Just an empty lot. However, a month ago, a house stood here.  A house that had been here for many years. It was a strong, brick house that sat on an equally strong foundation. The house that...
Finding My Place

Finding My Place

I don’t fit in anymore. It’s true. I can’t seem to find my place. It’s the strangest feeling. Typically, I’m the fun one, the friendly one, the one with the sparkling personality … yeah, that was me. Grief and loss have changed me...
Catching My Breath

Catching My Breath

Some days I find it hard to simply catch my breath. One tiny moment can change my day.  I feel like I’m suffocating. It comes so unexpectedly. Out of nowhere, the flood hits. It crashes over me, leaving my gasping for air. “I can’t breathe, I...